About halfway through the set, my girlfriend and I were right up the front getting down when a boy/girl cut in on our personal dancing space (it is generally agreed that each dancer must get around 1m squared of disco space in order to perform at their best ability). My friend busted out a few elbow moves to counteract this gross breach of disco rules, and what happened next was not so much a bitch fight, more a bitch brawl of epic proportions. I can't remember much, it all happened so quickly, one minute I was getting down, the next I was getting scared. Not one, but two drinks were poured on me, and my girlfriend and I ended up clinging to each other, squashed up against the DJ booth, whimpering with terror.
See, the boy/girl had lots of boy/girl friends. I call them boy/girls because I had a very hard time identifying the sexes. I'll admit, I am very short sighted and was not wearing my glasses (didn't go with my Russian doll inspired outfit of the aforementioned Alice McCall dress, thigh high chocolate brown Chloe boots, an adorable white mohair beanie and plenty of Nars orgasm). Generally, even with my vision impairment, it is pretty easy to tell the difference between the males and the females, but not this time. Let me break down the general look.
Males
- Skinny jeans
- Hoodie with the hood kept on the head at ALL times or incredibly long t-shirt (I believe the term is "ghetto gown")
- 1990's Nike Air Max or customised Converse (read: pen graffiti and novelty laces, or no laces at all) with the tongues coming up over the skinny jeans
- Statement hair (usually parted to one side so half the face is no longer recognisable and fairly long for male steroetype)
- Pale skin
- Ray Bans with clear lenses
- "High fiving a midget" dance moves
- Major teen angst
- Skinny jeans or American Apparel tights
- Hoodie with the hood kept on the head at ALL times or flannelette shirt worn as a dress
- Vintage platform mary janes or leather, pointed lace up brogues
- Statement hair (usually parted to one side so half the face is no longer recognisable and fairly short for female stereotype)
- Pale skin
- Ray Bans with clear lenses
- "High fiving a midget" dance moves
- Major teen angst
So you can see why I was confused. Once I finally figured out what was what, I realised that the girls were behaving like boys (ie, not very ladylike, pulling hair, using EXTREMELY colourful language) and the boys were behaving like girls (ie letting the girl do the fighting for them, giggling in a coy fashion whilst cowering in the background).
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for feminism and equality of the sexes, but when did the line become so blurred? Where's the excitement if everybody looks the same? Are we all going to morph into one supersex, devoid of any gender? Will the genders completely reverse, with men donning a Dinnigan frock and some Dolce & Gabbana pumps for going out?
Whatever happens, I'm sticking to my defined gender. I'll wear the pants in my relationships, but I'll do it wearing a skirt.
*Image courtesy of http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/
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