High and Wasted - Creating the "Deri-pear"

I have been watching this trend for a couple of years now - it first started with the high waisted skirt back in 2006. A delightful compliment to any figure - cinching the waist, hugging the derriere and a killer moneypenny look when teamed with an almond toe, patent high heel. In fact, this look will feature strongly in my winter wardrobe, with little numbers by Sass and Bide, Alice McCall and Zimmerman worn with black turtlenecks, opaque tights and patent heels.

Then came the high waisted denim short in late 2006. Teamed with a lycra one piece, vintage belt and gladiator thongs, I could appreciate this look (even though I would never attempt it myself). Those amongst us with a perky bum and toned legs looked fab in a 70's endless summer moment.

However, it's the high waisted jean that really concerns me. The recent article "High Society" in April Vogue states, "Pockets of resistance to the trend remain, so we enlisted four fashionable Australian women to wear high-waisted pants with pride."

Now I don't have just a pocket, more so an entire garment of resistance to the high waisted jean, however, these women were professional fashionistas so I was willing to give them a chance. I was pleasantly surprised with the photos, especially the white denim worn by Racquel Thomas. She looked incredibly stylish and tailored. I was almost ready go and buy myself a pair.

But then I remembered. I wouldn't be buying myself a pair, I would be buying myself a "pear".

I forced myself out of the Vogue bubble ("but it's in Vogue, it must be in vogue!") and saw the reality of the situation. I have no problem with the front of this look (although Mischa Barton should really steer clear of this look altogether). It's modern and clean and oh so cute with a simple singlet or silk blouse. It's the back view that is incredibly disturbing. Even a girl with the ripest, juiciest peach of a bum develops a droopy pear ass in these bad boys. Instead of lifting and firming the bum, the high waisted number elongates it, creating a tiny waist and acres of bum. I like to call it the "deri-pear". And surprise, surprise, none of the girls in the Vogue article were photographed from behind.

Perhaps some visual aids* will help my argument.

18th Amendment jeans - the pioneers of the high waisted jean. Cute from the front. Sleek, dark denim, flattering trouser pockets, nice wide leg.

Train wreck.

Same bum. Same brand. Different styles.

Now I'm not saying don't go and buy yourself a pair, but to pull this look off, your going to need some coverage to cut your bum in half. A kitten soft, mid length, cashmere cardigan, left open to show off a tucked in singlet or blouse will still allow you to show off your teeny waist and endless legs from the front and cover the top of the pear shape at the back to give you back your peach.

Ladies, beware the deri-pear.

* Images courtesy of www.mycatwalk.com.au. Except the badly photoshopped fruit. That one is all mine.